Why Being a Communist in a Capitalist City Is Mostly Just Frustrating
Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat
The Contradiction of Living Out Your Political Theory
Saturday morning, and I’m sitting in a coffee shop I can barely afford drinking coffee that costs more than my grandmother’s daily food budget, trying to write about revolutionary theory. Which is approximately 100% hypocritical. I’m a self-described Marxist living in a rapidly gentrifying Portland neighborhood, buying coffee from a hipster cooperative that charges eight pounds for oat milk lattes.
This is the fundamental contradiction of being politically left-wing in late capitalism: you understand the system is broken, you understand your participation props it up, and you can’t actually exit because exiting is impossible. So you live with the contradiction. You drink expensive coffee while thinking about how the system is extractive and exploitative.
The Theory vs. Reality Problem
Marx would probably look at me and laugh. Here I am, a member of the professional-managerial class (barely), educated in prestigious institutions, writing think pieces about class consciousness while benefiting from class advantage. I’m exactly the kind of person revolutionary theory says will become counter-revolutionary because my material interests are tied to the system.
But here’s the thing about living in Portland as a committed leftist: you can’t escape the system by moving here. Portland is just as capitalist as anywhere else. It’s just capitalist with more bicycles and better coffee.
The Practical Politics
What I’ve learned from reading about contemporary politics is that revolutionary theory and revolutionary practice are two completely different things. The theory is elegant and logical. The practice is messy and involves compromise.
I’m trying to live my politics. I’m supporting cooperative housing. I’m working with organizations trying to build alternative economic structures. I’m participating in mutual aid networks. But none of this actually changes the fundamental system. At the end of the day, I’m still a relatively privileged person living in a capitalist city navigating capitalist systems.
The Guilt of Complicity
The worst part isn’t the contradiction. It’s that I’m comfortable enough to not be forced to resolve it. If I were actually starving, I’d be forced to participate in actual revolutionary activity. But I’m not. I’m comfortable enough to feel guilty about the system while benefiting from it.
This is probably why most revolution comes from the desperate, not the educated. Because the educated can construct philosophical frameworks that justify their participation. We can say: I understand the system is broken, so by writing critiques I’m contributing to consciousness-raising. Which is probably bullshit. But it’s a good-enough justification to sleep at night.
What Actual Resistance Looks Like
What I’m learning from actually trying to live my politics is that it’s incredibly hard to do anything at scale. Individual mutual aid works. Small cooperative communities work. But scaling it to transform the entire economy? That requires coordination and power that leftist movements don’t actually have.
So I’m left doing what I can. Buying from local cooperatives. Supporting community-based initiatives. Trying to build alternative power structures at a local level. It doesn’t change the fundamental system. But it’s better than pure complicity.
And maybe that’s the most honest thing I can say: I’m complicit. I’m also trying to resist within the constraints of my complicity. Neither is sufficient. But taken together, they’re something.
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