Bamboo-Munching Bears Get Better Internet Than Most Americans
The Portland Metropolitan Zoo made headlines this week by installing enterprise-grade Wi-Fi in its panda habitat, providing the beloved black-and-white bears with faster internet speeds than most rural communities in America. The $50,000 installation comes as part of the zoo’s “Connected Conservation” initiative, which apparently prioritizes streaming capabilities for animals over, say, feeding programs or habitat expansion.
“We wanted to ensure our pandas could enjoy enrichment activities in the digital age,” explained zoo director Margaret Chen, while standing in front of pandas who looked exactly as interested in Wi-Fi as they do in everything else, which is to say not at all. “Studies show that pandas in captivity benefit from various forms of stimulation, and we believe internet access could open new doors.”
The panda Wi-Fi installation includes multiple access points, mesh network capabilities, and enough bandwidth to stream 4K video simultaneously on dozens of devices. What the pandas are supposed to do with this technological marvel remains unclear, as their daily schedule consists primarily of eating bamboo, sleeping, and occasionally rolling around in a manner that makes visitors go “awww.”
“We’re exploring apps designed specifically for pandas,” Chen continued, apparently with a straight face. “There’s PandaChat, BambooFinder, and even a meditation app called Zen and the Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing, though to be honest, they’ve already mastered that last one.” When asked whether the expensive internet infrastructure might be better utilized elsewhere, Chen pointed out that the pandas are the zoo’s biggest draw and deserve premium amenities.
Local residents have expressed mixed reactions, with some applauding the zoo’s innovative approach while others wonder why their own neighborhoods still have spotty cell service. One panda, identified as Mei Mei, was observed sitting directly beneath a Wi-Fi router for three hours yesterday, though experts confirm she was simply sleeping and the location was coincidental. The other panda, Ling Ling, hasn’t acknowledged the Wi-Fi’s existence and continues his lifelong commitment to competitive napping.
Zoo officials report that within the first twenty-four hours, the Wi-Fi network recorded zero connections from pandas but seventeen connections from zoo staff members trying to avoid data charges. Mission accomplished?
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/zoo-installs-wi-fi-for-pandas/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/zoo-installs-wi-fi-for-pandas/)
