New Textbooks Promise 50% Less Reality
Education publishers have unveiled their new History Lite curriculum, a revolutionary approach to teaching American history that removes all the uncomfortable parts and replaces them with inspirational quotes and stock photos of flags. The 200-page textbook covers 400 years of history using primarily emojis and “good vibes only” chapter summaries.
“Why burden students with complex historical realities when we can give them a simplified narrative that fits on a motivational poster?” explained curriculum developer Margaret Stevens. The new books feature a streamlined timeline that jumps directly from the Mayflower to the moon landing, with a brief footnote mentioning “some stuff happened in between.” Educational experts from Education Week describe the materials as “technically books” and “definitely made of paper.”
The textbook’s treatment of controversial topics employs cutting-edge avoidance strategies, with the Civil War reduced to a single sentence: “Americans had a disagreement, then they didn’t.” Slavery is addressed through the euphemism “involuntary unpaid internship program,” while the civil rights movement is summarized as “everyone decided to get along better.”
Beta testing in focus groups showed promising results, with students reporting they found history much more enjoyable when it contained no actual history. Teachers expressed concerns that their students might emerge believing the founding fathers invented Instagram and that World War II was a strongly worded letter campaign. Historians from the American Historical Association responded by quietly weeping into their primary sources.
Publishers defended the approach, noting that full-strength history has been shown to cause critical thinking, nuanced understanding, and uncomfortable conversations at Thanksgiving dinner. The companion teacher’s guide includes helpful phrases like “let’s not get bogged down in details” and “that’s probably not on the test.” Academics at Harvard are already preparing emergency remedial courses for the incoming freshman class of 2035.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/history-lite/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/history-lite/)
