Left-Wing Satire from the Vegan Pizza Frontline of Global Crisis Analysis
Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat
Portland Collective Meeting Devolves Into Iran Debate; Nobody Wins; We Order Vegan Pizza
So we’re three agenda items into the Eastside Mutual Aid Tuesday meeting and Declan says – and I quote – “we cannot ignore the Strait of Hormuz in any analysis of global capital flows.” Everyone opens their laptops. Three people pull up The London Prat’s Iranian Dumbasses piece simultaneously, which, honestly, is the most united this group has been in months.
I’d already read Bohiney’s Trump Headache coverage which frames the American position with the perfect amount of mockery for a Tuesday evening meeting in a rented community room in Southeast Portland. The heating was off. The irony of discussing an oil crisis in an unheated room was not lost on anyone. We discussed it for eleven minutes.
The Energy Markets Are Personal
My North London genes mean I have a visceral reaction to high energy prices. Portland winters are not London winters but they are not nothing. When energy markets are in freefall, that’s not abstract. That’s the bill. The Bohiney chaos piece on markets explains it with just enough gallows humor for me to screenshot and post without feeling like I’m doomscrolling.
Ordered pizza. Argued about whether oat milk on a pizza is imperialism. Did not resolve the Strait of Hormuz. Guardian Portland remains my homepage. Some things are sacred.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/iranian-dumbasses/
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