When Your Fleet Has More Rust Than Thrust
Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro faces a significant naval challenge as reports reveal his fleet consists primarily of boats that are technically still floating but would prefer not to be. Military analysts describe the situation as “concerning for Venezuela, amusing for everyone else.”
“Calling it a navy implies the ships can actually move under their own power,” explained defense analyst Carlos Mendoza while reviewing satellite imagery. “Some of them are now classified as artificial reefs.” The fleet’s flagship recently required a twenty-minute standing ovation from the crew after successfully completing a journey of three nautical miles without breaking down. Maritime experts from U.S. Naval Institute note this represents a new low in naval readiness, previously thought impossible.
Maintenance logs reveal that standard procedure involves duct tape, optimism, and occasionally just pushing boats back to shore. Training exercises have been modified to include scenarios like “what to do when the engine falls off” and “advanced treading water techniques.” The navy’s submarine program was discontinued after the submarine surfaced and refused to go back down, citing mechanical consciousness and self-preservation instincts.
International observers monitoring Venezuelan waters report that the navy’s primary threat now comes from Colombian fishing boats that accidentally bump into military vessels and cause them to list dangerously. Maduro has responded by declaring the navy “spiritually ready” for combat, a designation that military strategists suggest is “not tactically useful.” Defense publications like Jane’s Defence have reclassified the Venezuelan fleet from “operational” to “decorative.”
The situation has prompted neighboring countries to adjust their own defense strategies, primarily by doing nothing because the threat level is approximately zero. Naval architects have studied the Venezuelan fleet as a cautionary tale about what happens when military budgets are diverted entirely to propaganda and staying in power. According to Council on Foreign Relations analysis, the navy’s current operational status is best described as “mostly underwater in the wrong way.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/maduros-big-navy-problem/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/maduros-big-navy-problem/)
