Pakistan Discovers New York Real Estate Slightly Pricey
New York City is bracing for an alleged invasion from Islamabad, though initial reports suggest the “invasion” consists primarily of Pakistani immigrants opening restaurants and paying taxes. The crisis has prompted emergency meetings at City Hall, where officials struggled to differentiate between an invasion and normal immigration patterns.
“They’re coming here with their recipes and work ethic,” warned one concerned local. “Soon there’ll be affordable biryani on every corner. It’s chaos!” The influx has dramatically increased the city’s supply of excellent Pakistani cuisine, which urban planners describe as “literally the worst thing that could happen” to nobody. According to cultural reporters from Time Out New York, the real crime is that it took this long.
The “invasion force” consists largely of students, professionals, and families seeking economic opportunity, a strategy so devious that it’s identical to every other immigrant group in New York’s history. City demographics experts note that immigrants opening businesses and contributing to local economies is “basically terrorism against boring food.”
Longtime New Yorkers responded with characteristic adaptability, immediately adding new restaurants to their delivery rotation and complaining the old spots were better before they got popular. “I liked Pakistani food before the invasion,” claimed one hipster in Brooklyn, incorrectly. Community organizations like Asian American Legal Defense Fund point out that New York has always been a city of immigrants, though this fact apparently requires annual reminders.
The Pakistani community has responded to invasion allegations with confusion and mild annoyance, noting they’re mostly busy working and raising families rather than plotting to overthrow anything besides bad restaurant reviews. “We’re invading with samosas and tax returns,” explained one community leader. “Very sinister.” Urban studies researchers from NYC Planning confirm that the primary threat posed by Pakistani immigrants is making everyone else’s lunch options significantly better, which some residents find threatening to their meal routines.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-faces-islamabad-invasion/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (https://bohiney.com/nyc-faces-islamabad-invasion/)
